


The adventures of Gryffindad and the twelve idiots

by fangirling-feels (xGwenxVeerx)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: .... maybe it could also be 3min because all the three of them have 'min' in their name..., Hogwarts AU, Hogwarts Setting, M/M, chatfic, feel kinda dumb now, i found the shipname of the 97 liners, i know thats not how it works but shush let my mind be weird, id love to know, if there is one, im sorry for the mess, is there even a proper shipname for the 97 liners together?, jicheol - not yet established, jihan - not yet established, lol, please inform me of it, seokgyuhao - not yet established, soonchan - confirmed and established, verkwan - not yet established, wonhui - not yet established
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xGwenxVeerx/pseuds/fangirling-feels
Summary: It's the usual Seventeen chatfic, except it's at Hogwarts!





	1. Hiss Hiss

**Author's Note:**

> **[Jihoon]:** I have one question  
>  **[Jihoon]:** Why
> 
>  **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** why not  
>  **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** now we have a groupchat!
> 
>  **[Jihoon]:** Again  
>  **[Jihoon]:** Why
> 
> Usernames:  
> Seungcheol gryffindad  
> Jeonghan ~~~<<\~~<<\~~(*)<~  
> Jisoo JisoosPotter  
> Junhui MoonMoon  
> Soonyoung Expulso  
> Wonwoo Page394  
> Jihoon smol  
> Seokmin Confringo  
> Mingyu puffthegyu  
> Minghao xuminghoe  
> Seungkwan Incendio  
> Hansol PEEKABOOOOII  
> Chan Antipodean Opaleye
> 
> List of houses:  
> Gryffindor: Seungcheol, DK, Seungkwan, Vernon  
> Hufflepuff: Mingyu  
> Ravenclaw: Shua, Wonwoo, Minghao  
> Slytherin: Jeonghan, Junnie, Hoshi, Woozi, Chan

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~_ ** **started a new chat**

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~_ ** **named the chat** **_Hiss Hiss_ **

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~_ ** **added** **_MoonMoon_ **

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added [Soonyoung]**

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added [Jihoon]**

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added [Chan]**

 

**[Jihoon]:** I have one question

**[Jihoon]:** Why

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why not

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** now we have a groupchat!

 

**[Jihoon]:** Again

**[Jihoon]:** Why

 

**[Soonyoung] changed his name to** **_Expulso_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **changed [Jihoon]’s name to** **_smol_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **changed [Chan]’s name to** **_Dino_ **

 

**[Soonyoung] changed the group chat name to** **_Hiss Hiss Motherfuckers_ **

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** SOONYOUNG

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** tHERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS GROUP

 

**smol:** I say, leave it be and corrupt them young

 

**Expulso:** Jeonghan

**Expulso:** You’re the one who constantly swears around Chan

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** ssoo!!??!???!??!?

 

**Dino:** dude, Im not a kid 

**Dino:** Im in year 4

 

**MoonMoon:** You’re 15!

 

**Dino:** and??

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **changed** **_Dino_ ** **’s name to** **_Little Channie_ **

 

**Little Channie:** No

**Little Channie:** Just

**Little Channie:** No

 

**_Little Channie_ ** **changed his name to** **_Antipodean Opaleye_ **

 

**MoonMoon:** nerd

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome these dragons are

 

**MoonMoon:** nerd

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:**

****

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Sorry, did you mean to say

**Antipodean Opaleye:** _AWESOME_??

 

**MoonMoon:** nerd

 

**Smol:** nerd

 

**Expulso:** nerd

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Soonyoung not you too

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** sorry chan, its the undeniable truth

 

**smol:** *it’s or it is

**smol:** you fucking idiot

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** nerd

 

**Expulso:** yo snake can we add more people in this chat?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** are they Slytherins?

 

**Expulso:** no?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** than what’s the poINT!?

 

**Expulso:** they’re nice?!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** so?!

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** If we add them we’re basically adding Jun’s crush

 

**MoonMoon:** Chan NO

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** CHAN YES

 

**Expulso:** Why are you suddenly saying yes?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** I just love to see you all suffer

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** let’s add all of your crushes

 

**smol:** lmao jeonghan actually likes chan and not you

**smol:** that’s just it

 

**MoonMoon:** wait does that mean we can also add Jeonghan’s crush?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** what

 

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_Page394_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_Incendio_ **

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<~~(*)<~:** NO

 

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_Confringo_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_puffthegyu_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_xuminghoe_ **

 

**MoonMoon:** Soonyoung you BITCH

 

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_PEEKABOOOOII_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_JisoosPotter_ **

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_gryffindad_ **

 

**Expulso:** woops

**Expulso:** too late

 

**smol:** Soonyoung why do you know so many people?

 

**Expulso:** I have connections ,’:)

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Soonyoung was it really a good idea to add them at 3 in the fucking morning when everyone is asleep?

 

**JisoosPotter:** language

 

**Expulso:** yes, Chan, yes

 

**xuminghoe:** okay what in the actual fuck is this

**xuminghoe:** Soonyoung when I said I was okay with being added in a groupchat for the dance club, I didn’t mean that I was okay with being thrown into a group of random strangers that I don’t know

 

**Expulso:** too

**Expulso:** late

 

**_xuminghoe_ ** **left the chat**

 

**Expulso:** that bitch

 

**_Expulso_ ** **added** **_xuminghoe_ **

 

**Expulso:** stay


	2. Hiss Hiss Motherfuckers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Page394:** Around 4 people are ready to murder you because you are doing nothing for the Herbology project that is due in like, 3 days
> 
> **MoonMoon:** I’m in Herbology???

**Hiss Hiss Motherfuckers**

 

**gryffindad:** Can I ask what this is?

 

**Expulso:** It’s a groupchat!

 

**smol:** I think he figured out that much, Sherlock

 

**Expulso:** OH I’M CURIOUS YEAH

 

**gryffindad:** Yeah, I did, but who is everyone in here? I’d rather not be in a groupchat with people I don’t know

 

**Expulso:** You know me

 

**gryffindad:** I do?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Don’t worry Cheollie, for as far as I know they’re all Hogwarts students

 

**MoonMoon:** *gags*

**MoonMoon:** Jeonghan being nice to someone other than Chan?

**MoonMoon:** No thank you

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Hey!

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I’m nice

 

**MoonMoon:** you sure?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** yes!

 

**MoonMoon:** Anywaaayysss

**MoonMoon:** Should we all just introduce ourselves?

**MoonMoon:** To get to know each other

**MoonMoon:** y’know

**MoonMoon:** say our names

**MoonMoon:** send our selfies?

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Are you just using this as an excuse to send your pictures?

 

**MoonMoon:** Always, Chan. Always.

**MoonMoon:**

**MoonMoon:**  Hello ello ello, the name is Wen Junhui, a 6th year Slytherin, nice to meet all of you

 

**Page394:** Wait that’s you?

 

**MoonMoon:** Uhm…. yeah?

**MoonMoon:** Why?

 

**Page394:** Around 4 people are ready to murder you because you are doing nothing for the Herbology project that is due in like, 3 days

 

**MoonMoon:** I’m in Herbology???

 

**xuminghoe:** wild

 

**Page394:** Yes!!!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why am I not suprised about this

 

**MoonMoon:** why am I though

**MoonMoon:** like

**MoonMoon:** how did I forget that Im taking Herbology?   
  
**Page394:** Maybe because it’s Herbology?

 

**xuminghoe:** tbh Jun I was doubting if you even knew you had classes at all

 

**MoonMoon:** what do you think of me?

 

**xuminghoe:** not a lot actually

 

**Expulso:** who does?

 

**MoonMoon:** uhm

**MoonMoon:** what about

**MoonMoon:** ME?!

 

**gryffindad:** Okay seriously

**gryffindad:** How come you all know each other

**gryffindad:** And I’m still clueless on who y’all are?

 

**Expulso:** You know me tho?

 

**gryffindad:** You sure?

 

**MoonMoon:** What if you introduce yourself so WE know who YOU are?

 

**gryffindad:** What about you all continue introducing yourselves first so I know that none of your are creeps!

 

**Expulso:** ???

 

**JisoosPotter:** yo yo yo, Joshua here

 

**smol:** Joshua?

 

**JisoosPotter:** Joshua, Jisoo, I don’t really mind

**JisoosPotter:** 7th year Ravenclaw, friends with 2 idiots called Seungcheol and Jeonghan

**JisoosPotter:**

  
  
**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: **

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Im assuming that all of you know me already but in the slim chance that some alien is infiltrating in here that does not know of me, I’m Jeonghan, 7th year Slytherin and actual angel

 

**smol:** Also the most modest Slytherin out of the ones I know

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I know right!

 

**Page394:**

**Page394:** I’m Wonwoo, a  6th year Ravenclaw

 

**MoonMoon:** wait wonwoo I take classes with you?

 

**xuminghoe:** everytime I think Jun has reached his peek of forgetfulness he always proves me that it can get

**xuminghoe:** much

**xuminghoe:** worser

 

**smol:** much worser ain’t a thing though

 

**xuminghoe:** exactly

 

**puffthegyu:** Hi everybody!

**puffthegyu:**

**puffthegyu:** I’m Mingyu, a 5th year Hufflepuff!

**puffthegyu:** And for as far as I know the only one in here rn

**puffthegyu:** But that’s okay!

**puffthegyu:** This way we can all make more friends!

 

**Expulso:** Question

**Expulso:** How do you all manage to look like actual gods that came back alive

**Expulso:** and I look like a potato at best

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** You don’t?!?

 

**Expulso:** I do!?!

 

**Confringo:** Bro

**Confringo:** Soonyoung

**Confringo:** My man

**Confringo:** You don’t look like a potato

 

**Incendio:** Exhibit A:

**Incendio:**

**Incendio:** Last time I checked, that wasn’t a potato

 

**Confringo:** Last time I checked, that’s my insanely hot best friend Soonyoung

**Confringo:** Amazing 6th year Slytherin

**Confringo:** My bro

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Soonyoung just got his friends to do his introduction

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Goals

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I need some friends like that

 

**JisoosPotter:** You say that now, but when they actually try to do that for you you take over from them because they can’t do introduce yo accurately enough

 

**smol:** I say continue dragging him

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I suggest you stop

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** no, continue

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I love seeing Jeonghan get dragged like this

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Betrayed

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** BY MY OWN SON

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I’m not your son

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** *gasps*

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** betrayal!

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Why do I even try?

**Antipodean Opaleye:**

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I’m Chan, a 4th year Slytherin!

 

**MoonMoon:** and a nerd

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I am not

 

**MoonMoon:** You’re chatname is that from a dragon

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** An AMAZING dragon that is!!

 

**MoonMoon:** nerd

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:**

**PEEKABOOOOII:** 4th year Gryffindor, Vernon :)

 

**Confringo:** I thought your name was Hansol?

 

**Incendio:**

**Incendio:** And I’m Seungkwan, a 4th year Gryffindor too :D

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** okay nvmnd

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: **  i need someone like this

 

**xuminghoe:** I’m minghao, 5th year ravenclaw and i want to go home

**xuminghoe:**

 

**smol:** same

**smol:**

**smol:** I’m Jihoon

 

**Expulso:** that’s it?

**Expulso:** no year, no house?

**Expulso:** no interesting characteristics?

**Expulso:** no tragic backstory?

 

**smol:** just because you all decided to share that information doesn’t mean that I have to do that too

 

**Expulso:** your ruining the fun

 

**smol:** *you’re

 

**Confringo:** And I’m Seokmin, a 5th year Gryffindor :D

**Confringo:**

 

**MoonMoon:** I guess that only leaves @gryffindad as we all proved that we aren’t creeps

**MoonMoon:** as long as that creep is still online that is

 

**gryffindad:**

 

**MoonMoon:** jup he is

 

**gryffindad:** well then, I’m Seungcheol, a 7th year Gryffindor

**gryffindad:** friends with Jeonghan and Jisoo

**gryffindad:** the rest are still complete strangers to me

 

**smol:** okay not gonna lie dude you’re hot

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** wait soonyoung you’re friends with this dude?

 

**Expulso:** lmao no I only stole his number from jeonghans phone cause he cant shut up about his best friends so i thought, once the occasion rises that a groupchat is started and i can add numbers, i have more people to add!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** dude what the fuck

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** how long ago did you break into my phone for that?

 

**Expulso:** About 4 years ago?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** SOONYOUNG 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** WHAT 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** THE 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, posting a new chapter 2 days after the release of the latest? Unheard of.  
> Now that all the needed stuff is done, let's get this story started!
> 
>  
> 
> Did I actually search for a whole day for those pictures? Heck yes I did


	3. Operation Figuring Out How Weird Soonyoung Actually Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **gryffindad:** I’m actually quite curious as well
> 
>  **Expulso:** I’M SO CURIOUS YEAH
> 
>  **smol:** Maybe you could get to the point instead of screaming Shinee lyrics at the top of your lungs.  
>  **smol:** You woke up the whole  
>  **smol:** Fucking  
>  **smol:** House
> 
>  **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** poor first years  
>  **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** they’ll have to learn to live with this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should stop making it a habit to post at 1 am

**Hiss Hiss Motherfuckers**

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** you know what I was thinking

**Antipodean Opaleye:** soonyoung

**Antipodean Opaleye:** how the fuck did you get all those numbers?

**Antipodean Opaleye:** like you told us how you got seungcheols

**Antipodean Opaleye:** (and possibly joshuas)

**Antipodean Opaleye:** but like

**Antipodean Opaleye:** how did you become friends with the others

**Antipodean Opaleye:** how did you get their numbers???

 

**Expulso:** it’s a long story

 

**xuminghoe:** it’s 02:17

**xuminghoe:** nobody is actually asleep rn

**xuminghoe:** and do we have anything better to do than listening to your weird story?

**xuminghoe:** don’t think so

**xuminghoe:** I think we’ve got time for this

 

**gryffindad:** I’m actually quite curious as well

 

**Expulso:** I’M SO CURIOUS YEAH

 

**smol:** Maybe you could get to the point instead of screaming Shinee lyrics at the top of your lungs.

**smol:** You woke up the whole

**smol:** Fucking

**smol:** House

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** poor first years

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** they’ll have to learn to live with this

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I didn’t even notice it lmao

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Is it some kind of annual thing?

 

**smol:** It happens nearly every week

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Sounds awful

 

**Expulso:** excuse you

**Expulso:** it’s amazing

 

**smol:** Literally only you think that.

 

**Expulso:** Does that matter??   
  


**smol:** yes

 

**MoonMoon:** Soonyoung why are you trying to get away from telling your story?

**MoonMoon:** I’m getting the idea that it’s totally not interesting at all

 

**Expulso:** it is!!!

 

**smol:** And even if Soonyoung decides to not share his ‘awesome’ and ‘interesting’ story, we could always ambush everybody in the hallway to get them to tell us how they ‘willingly’ gave Soonyoung their number

**smol:** a mistake tbh

 

**gryffindad:** I didn’t willingly give him my number tho

 

**smol:** I know pretty boy

**smol:** You still ended up here sooo

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** savage

 

**Expulso:** okay so I was actually ready to type out the story but as y’all aren’t interested anymore

 

**MoonMoon:** Jup, he is talking himself out of it

 

**smol:** Let him, I have a plan anyway

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** you’re still looking for people helping you?

 

**smol:** Always

 

**Expulso:** I’m having the feeling that y’all are just against me

 

**smol:** We are

**smol:** Every day

**smol:** All day

 

**Expulso:** NAE GYEOTEMAN ISSEOJWO ZOOM ZOOM

 

**MoonMoon:** yeah okay count me in Jihoon

 

**JisoosPotter:** Can you all just go to SLEEP

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** why should I listen to you?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** because I want you to stay awake

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Jup thats it, Im going to sleep, Jeonghan can’t tell me what to dooo

 

**smol:** Chan just ran to his room

**smol:** Can’t believe that actually worked

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** great teamwork man!

 

**smol:** Could’ve known it

**smol:** Normally, Jeonghan would start whining whenever Chan doesn’t listen to him

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** uuuhhhmmm

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** excuse you

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** to what do I owe this DISRESPECT

 

**smol:** what was I saying

 

**JisoosPotter:** go to SLEEP

 

\---------

 

**_smol_ ** **started a new chat**

**_smol_ ** **named the chat** **Operation Figuring Out How Weird Soonyoung Actually Is**

**_smol_ ** **added** **_Antipodean Opaleye_ **

**_smol_ ** **added** **_MoonMoon_ **

**_smol_ ** **added** **_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~_ **

 

**smol:** I want you all to figure out the schedules of Wonwoo, Seokmin, Mingyu, Minghao, Seungkwan and Hansol and report back here whenever they are free

**smol:** That way we can ambush them to get their story out of them

**smol:** Don’t let Soonyoung know

**smol:** Knowing that idiot, the stories are probably super embarrassing and lowkey stalker worthy, which is why he doesn’t want to tell

**smol:** If he does confess, still continue with this plan

**smol:** Chances are that he is just making it up

 

**MoonMoon:** just a question Jihoon

**MoonMoon:** do you have plans like this for every stupid scenario someone can get into?

 

**smol:** Yes

 

**MoonMoon:** well then

 

\---------

 

**Hiss Hiss Motherfuckers**

 

**Incendio:** Rise and Shine everybody!

**Incendio:** Weekends over, classes are gonna start again!

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Weren’t you the one to cling to me yesterday evening because you didn’t want to go to classes?

 

**Incendio:** That was yesterday

**Incendio:** I’m a changed man now

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Boo, you’re still lying in your bed and crying because you have to get up

 

**Incendio:** Why must you attack me this way?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Because it’s the truth?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** omg

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Vernon called Seungkwan ‘boo’ 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** noone can convince me that they aren’t the cutest couple in the chat

 

**Incendio:** We’re not dating!

 

**gryffindad:** Even if they were, they never told me

**gryffindad:** I’d be offended if they didn’t tell their dad that they were dating

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** you’re not our dad?

 

**gryffindad:** look at my name and think again

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** nevermind then

 

**Incendio:** Why would I ever want to date Hansol?

**Incendio:** He is my best friend!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** im betting my money on it now

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** they’re either already dating

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** or will date soon

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** im calling it now

 

**PEEKABOOOII:** I’m not interested in dating Seungkwan though?

 

**Incendio:** Uhm excuse you

**Incendio:** Who doesn’t want to date me?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** didn’t you just say that didn’t want to date me?

 

**Incendio:** does that matter??

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** yes??

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Can everybody just hurry up and get to the Great Hall for breakfast

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** We need to show these anxious first years that it’s okay to completely ignore the house tables at any given moment to have breakfast together

 

**gryffindad:** It’s the second week of school

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** exactly

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** we started way too late to corrupt them

 

\---------

 

**_PEEKABOOOOII_ ** **started a private chat with** **_Antipodean Opaleye_ **

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** You know that I am ready to kill you, right?

**PEEKABOOOOII:** “No, don’t worry Hansol, Seungkwan likes you too!”

**PEEKABOOOOII:** “Just be yourself, he already fell for your memey-ass anyways”

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Well guess what?

**PEEKABOOOOII:** He does not

**PEEKABOOOOII:** He literally said that he didn’t want to date me

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** to be fair, so did you

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** I panicked!

**PEEKABOOOOII:** What else was I supposed to do?

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** say nothing???

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** And have Jeonghan all up my ass??

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** shit u right

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Guess all that is left now is to suffer quietly

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** want me to suffer quietly with you while sitting next to you during breakfast?

  
**PEEKABOOOOII:** You know me so well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I struggled a lot writing this chapter, ESPECIALLY the last part of it. About 5 different versions ended up being typed before I came up with this one that I actually liked?? Lmao thats a thing??
> 
> Ive been asking this question to my friends too and I kinda wanna know from you all too: would you want me to already put in all of the relationships in the tags that will start appearing, even if there is no lead up to them yet, or do you want me only put them in the tags once they are actually confirmed dating and all?


	4. the thirteen idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** uhm excuse you  
>  **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** im not an idiot
> 
>  **MoonMoon:** shit u right  
>  **MoonMoon:** ure te idiot leader of us all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some chapters are written after weeks of struggling and then you have the mess that is this chapter, formed in less than a day. I'm not sorry

**_xuminghoe_ ** **changed the group chat name to** **_the thirteen idiots_ **

  


**xuminghoe:** i was getting sick of the chatname only including slytherins

**xuminghoe:** this accurately covers this group and the idiots in it

  


**PEEKABOOOOII:** Are we really all idiots?

  


**xuminghoe:** yes

**xuminghoe:** you once walked repeatedly into a wall while you were laughing at memes on your phone

  


**PEEKABOOOOII:** shit u right

  


**xuminghoe:** why wouldnt i be???

  


**Antipodean Opaleye:** reasons

  


**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** uhm excuse you

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** im not an idiot

  


**MoonMoon:** shit u right

**MoonMoon:** ure te idiot leader of us all

  


**smol:** Why do I have to enter this groupchat the moment you all decide to give up on the english language.

  


**MoonMoon:** jokes on u

**MoonMoon:** i never actually tried taking it serious in the first place

  


**smol:** You think I didn’t know that already?

  


**xuminghoe:** Jihoon is here yet again with only one purpose

**xuminghoe:** shading everyone that tries to be smarter than him

  


**smol:** Someone has to do it.

**smol:** I happily take on that job as all of you are to stupid to do it properly.

  


**Antipodean Opaleye:** savage

  


\---------

  


**Operation Figuring Out How Weird Soonyoung Actually Is**

  


**smol:** Status update?

  


**MoonMoon:** we dont need to ask minghao, dude is in our dance team which is how soonyoung got his number

**MoonMoon:** ill be asking wonwoo today during herbology to try and get something out of him

  


**Antipodean Opaleye:** you’re actually going to Herbology now?

**Antipodean Opaleye:** im proud of you

  


**MoonMoon:** thank you, thank you

**MoonMoon:** i figured that the sooner i get to this class again, the better

  


**smol:** Great

**smol:** Chan, can you try to figure out anything from Seungkwan and Hansol?

  


**Antipodean Opaleye:** Ill try my best!

  


**smol:** In the meantime I will try to persuade Soonyoung to spill the story while trying to not show that that’s what I’m trying to do.

  


**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** what about me?

  


**smol:** Jeonghan

**smol:** You get a very special task

  


**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** yay!

  


**smol:** You shut up about this and pretend like this conversation has never even taken place.

  


**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** awh

  


\---------

  


**the thirteen idiots**

  


**MoonMoon:** Wonwoo

**MoonMoon:** I’m ready to kill you

  


**Page394:** I said I was sorry!

  


**puffthegyu:** wow

**puffthegyu:** wait

**puffthegyu:** what happened??

  


**MoonMoon:** Remember how Wonwoo said, on the very first day in this chat, and I quote

**MoonMoon:** “Around 4 people are ready to murder you because you are doing nothing for the Herbology project that is due in like, 3 days”

  


**xuminghoe:** well shit

**xuminghoe:** jun is using grammar for once

**xuminghoe:** something went wrong

  


**MoonMoon:** So I, as the good student I am

  


**gryffindad:** I doubt that

  


**MoonMoon:** Decided to go to Herbology today!

**MoonMoon:** I couldn’t find it in my schedule so I had to ask Wonwoo when and where the class actually was

  


**JisoosPotter:** You didn’t think that was a bit supsicious?

  


**MoonMoon:** Honestly seeing as I forgot I had that class not really

**MoonMoon:** But anyway

**MoonMoon:** So I get there, later than the class was supposed to start because I couldn’t find it

**MoonMoon:** So I enter the classroom and everyone, including Professor Longbottom, is looking at me weirdly

**MoonMoon:** But what can I do? I haven’t appeared in this class, so of course they’ll look weirdly at me!

  


**JisoosPotter:** oh boy

  


**MoonMoon:** So all I really can do is apologise for arriving late and missing a few classes, right?

**MoonMoon:** And everybody is still looking at me, confused as fuck

**MoonMoon:** And Professor Longbottom says, in the calmest, most ‘annoyed-but-i-am-not-letting-this-show-but-wen-junhui-what-the-fuck’ tone

**MoonMoon:** “You horribly failed your O.W.L.S. last year in this class and never showed any interest in it whatsoever, so why would you be here now to disrupt my class?”

  


**gryffindad:** ouch

  


**MoonMoon:** Turns out!

**MoonMoon:** There is another Jun in 6th year that IS taking Herbology, but had been sick since the beginning of the school year so they hadn’t done anything for any of their classes, including showing up and working on group projects, like the Herbology project Wonwoo talked about!

**MoonMoon:** The very same project that I thought I had to participate in, and that broke my head for the whole weekend trying to understand how I could have possibly forgotten to go to a certain class, let alone do this!

  


**Page394:** As I already said, I was sorry!

  


**MoonMoon:** Does ‘sorry’ take away the embarrassment that I felt there?

**MoonMoon:** I felt like an idiot!

  


**xuminghoe:** Jun

**xuminghoe:** hate to break it to you but

**xuminghoe:** you are an idiot

  


**MoonMoon:** That doesn’t matter right now

**MoonMoon:** What matters most is as Professor Longbottom said this, Wonwoo was looking at me and just burst out laughing

**MoonMoon:** So thanks a lot, asshole

  


**Page394:** I said I was sorry!   
**Page394:** How could I know there was another Jun at Hogwarts that did take Herbology?

**Page394:** Besides, it wasn’t as if you immediately denied taking the class, so how am I the person to blame the most?

**Page394:** All I want to do is finish this project, which is due tomorrow and none of my groupmates are doing anything besides whining that it’s taking slow and nobody is doing anything

**Page394:** So I’m sorry, okay? I genuinely didn’t know that it wasn’t you that took the same class as me. 

  


**MoonMoon:** ok

  


**Page394:** That’s all you have to say?

  


**MoonMoon:** yeah

**MoonMoon:** u couldnt help it either

  


**smol:** Shit, Jun is back to his shitty use of English.

  


**MoonMoon:** and i wasnt the smartest person in this whole thing either

  


**smol:** When have you ever been smart though?

  


**MoonMoon:** well fuck u ji

  


**smol:** Don’t call me like that.

  


**Page394:** I’m sorry I laughed at you

  


**MoonMoon:** dont worry

**MoonMoon:** tbh

**MoonMoon:** i wouldve laughed at myself too

  


**smol:** I’m glad to know you laugh at your own life oo.

**smol:** Now I know I’m not the only one.

**smol:** I mean, I do it everyday.

  


**MoonMoon:** wait, really?

  


**smol:** yeah

**smol:** Your life is just too funny, idiotic and dumb, I can’t help but laugh at it.

  


**MoonMoon:** fuck

**MoonMoon:** you

**MoonMoon:** ji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird to think that I came up with this fic at night, not thinking much of it, and now I have all the substorylines in my head, the way all of the relationships will play out, sidecharacters and siderelationships and uuugghgonjavdjv I started caring for this fic way more than my first intention was and I don't even care I love it


	5. quidditch practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **gryffinmom:** and hansol?
> 
> **PEEKABOOOOII:** yeah nayoung?
> 
> **gryffinmom:** try to be there in time
> 
> **PEEKABOOOOII:** yeah mom
> 
> **maknaeontop:** lmao you call nayoung mom
> 
> **PEEKABOOOOII:** you do too?
> 
> **maknaeontop:** nayoung is my mom okay fuck you
> 
> **gryffinmom:** somi  
>  **gryffinmom:** language
> 
> **maknaeontop:** yeah mom

**_gryffindad_ ** **started a new chat**

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_PEEKABOOOOII_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_gryffinmom_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_maknaeontop_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_TheBae_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_GODJihyo_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_theoneandonly_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_CauseIveGotABlankSpace_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_nojustno_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_luckyrock_ **

 

**_gryffindad_ ** **named the chat** **_quidditch practice_ **

 

**gryffindad:** Remember everybody! 

**gryffindad:** We have quidditch practice today at 3!!

 

**gryffinmom:** everybody better be there as we have a new strategy that we want to discuss

 

**TheBae:** We wanna beat Slytherin this year?

 

**gryffinmom:** of course

**gryffinmom:** thats why everybody has to come

**gryffinmom:** no excuses

**gryffinmom:** no ‘but i have homework’

**gryffinmom:** no ‘i have something else planned!’

**gryffinmom:** all of you need to be there!

 

**maknaeontop:** yes mom

 

**gryffinmom:** and hansol?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** yeah nayoung?

 

**gryffinmom:** try to be there in time

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** yeah mom

 

**maknaeontop:** lmao you call nayoung mom

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** you do too?

 

**maknaeontop:** nayoung is my mom okay fuck you

 

**gryffinmom:** somi

**gryffinmom:** language

 

**maknaeontop:** yeah mom

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_PEEKABOOOOII - Antipodean Opaleye_ **

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** hey

**PEEKABOOOOII:** do you have quidditch training today too?

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** yeah

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** wanna walk together after potions?

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** sure!

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I can’t walk with you btw

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I’m meeting up with Soonyoung after practice

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_Incendio - PEEKABOOOOII_ **

 

**Incendio:** Hansol?

**Incendio:** You wanna do something together after potions?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** can’t

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Chan and i have quidditch practice

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Nayoung was kinda pushing on me not arriving late today

**PEEKABOOOOII:** maybe we can do something after dinner?

 

**Incendio:** I do have a lot of homework that I need to do…

**Incendio:** but okay!

 

\---------

 

**The Exploding Trio**

 

**Incendio:** soonyoung

**Incendio:** youre close to chan

**Incendio:** right?

 

**Expulso:** yeah

**Expulso:** y tho?

 

**Incendio:** well…

**Incendio:** do you perhaps know if hansol and chan are dating?

 

**Expulso:** Hansol

**Expulso:** And

**Expulso:** Chan

**Expulso:** Dating???

 

**Incendio:** yeah

**Incendio:** I know they spent the summer hanging out together a lot and ever since the school year started they hang out alot in class too

**Incendio:** i dont know, i guess i just started assuming the wrong thing again…

 

**Expulso:** dont worry!! Chan and hansol aint dating believe me!!

**Expulso:** you still have a chance with your meme dont worry!!

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**Expulso:** okay so most of you have quidditch training rn

**Expulso:** because apparently its a good idea to have the first training on the same day

**Expulso:** i wouldnt know cause im not in the team

 

**JisoosPotter:** Soonyoung what in hecks name are you about to do?

 

**Expulso:** I’ve known Seungkwan and Seokmin since we were little kids, we’ve been friends even before getting to Hogwarts. That’s how I got their numbers and got to know more of you all. Seungkwan and Hansol are basically attached by the hip, by being friends with Seungkwan I got to know Hansol and get his phone number, which was added on the pile of ‘possible group chat people’, an idea that I came up with a few years prior because you have to be prepared for it, may the occasion ever rise. Through the dance club I became friends with Minghao, who was willing to give me the number of Wonwoo for this project. Apparently, Wonwoo has a stupid sense of humour that Minghao wanted to share with others. Or he didn’t want to be the only one tortured by it anymore, it was one of these two options. I finally got Mingyu’s number through Seokmin, as they were friends too and according to Seokmin Mingyu would love to make new friends.

**Expulso:** I don’t think that I need to explain how I got the numbers of all my slytherin homies here?

**Expulso:** seeing as Jeonghan started this chat with the intention to just have the slytherin homies together

**Expulso:** well it sucks to be him cause he unknowingly made sure my plan could finally be put to reality!

**Expulso:** but really, you all should be thanking me cause now we are all friends!

**Expulso:** Thanks to me!

 

\---------

 

**Operation Finding Out How Weird Soonyoung Actually Is**

 

**smol:** Well

**smol:** I guess our job here is done.

**smol:** Thank you for doing absolutely nothing.

 

**_smol_ ** **deleted** **_Operation Finding Out How Weird Soonyoung Actually Is_ **

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**smol:** Soonyoung

**smol:** What

**smol:** The

**smol:** Fuck

 

**JisoosPotter:** Is it too late to say that im severely dissapointed in how this turned out?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** dont worry shua, im too

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** and ive known soonyoung for some time now

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** i know what soonyoung means with ‘fun’ and ‘long’ stories

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** more often than not, they are boring and just don’t make sense

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** guess this was no different

 

**Expulso:** Uhm

**Expulso:** Excuse you

**Expulso:** My stories are very funny and deserve attention mkay

 

**JisoosPotter:** then why did you wait til most of us had quidditch practice to share the story

**JisoosPotter:** why couldnt you tell it when we asked you about it???

 

**smol:** Because Soonyoung is a scared little kid

**smol:** No printer just fax

 

**Expulso:** why must you attack me like that?

 

**smol:** You want me to bring up your past mistakes and attack you like that?

 

**Expulso:** No!

 

**_smol_ ** **changed** **_Expulso_ ** **’s name to** **_hoshi_ **

 

**smol:** Too late bitch

 

**xuminghoe:** hoshi??

**xuminghoe:** what kind of name is that??

 

**smol:** Soonyoung’s nickname that he chose when he was five years old. 

**smol:** It means ‘star’ in Japanese, which is why he chose it.

 

**hoshi:** in my defense

**hoshi:** i was like

**hoshi:** five

**hoshi:** and really obsessed with stars

 

**xuminghoe:** nerd

 

**hoshi:** i was five!

 

**xuminghoe: nerd**

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_hoshi - Antipodean Opaleye_ **

 

**hoshi:** okay so i havent said asked you this before but

**hoshi:** is there any reason for anyone to think you and hansol are dating?

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** eh, no?

**Antipodean Opaleye:** i mean, hansol is still in his whole ‘i-like-seungkwan-but-im-afraid-that-seungkwan-does-not-like-me’ phase and im the one that has to get him through that so we have been hanging out some more

**Antipodean Opaleye:** but i dont think to the point that someone would think that we’re dating?

**Antipodean Opaleye:** why are you asking?

 

**hoshi:** because seungkwan approached me to ask if you and hansol are dating

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** seungkwan?

 

**hoshi:** uhhu

**hoshi:** istg

**hoshi:** those two need to just confess and be happy together

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** ikr

**Antipodean Opaleye:** hey

**Antipodean Opaleye:** soonyoung?

 

**hoshi:** yeeeeeeeess

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I was wondering if you could help me with my potions homework this afternoon?

**Antipodean Opaleye:** you know

**Antipodean Opaleye:** same time, same place as usual?

 

**hoshi:** uhm

**hoshi:** YES

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** great!

**Antipodean Opaleye:** see you after dinner!

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Hey

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Has anyone seen Chan around? 

 

**MoonMoon:** No

**MoonMoon:** He dissapeared after dinner

**MoonMoon:** so did soonyoung too…

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** chan told me soonyoung was gonna help him studying 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** so i think they are in the library

 

**Confringo:** to answer your question

**Confringo:** they are not in the library

**Confringo:** and i now know why soonyoung knew hansol and chan werent dating!

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** wait

**PEEKABOOOOII:** what

 

**Confringo:** long story, isnt important rn

**Confringo:** what is important is that i just caught soonyoung and chan

**Confringo: making out**

**Confringo:** outside of the room of requirement

**Confringo:** i think that they’re inside right now but i dont know since i walked away as quickly as i could because heck nooooooo

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** soonyoung

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** and

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** chan

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** are

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** doing

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** WHAT

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_hoshi - Antipodean Opaleye_ **

 

**hoshi:** sooo

**hoshi:** this might be a good time to tell them about us

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** No

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Shit

**Antipodean Opaleye:** Sherlock

 

**hoshi:** fuck off watson

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** aaaah

**Antipodean Opaleye:**

 

**hoshi:** pls chan

**hoshi:** channie

**hoshi:** dont worry

  
**Antipodean Opaleye:**  *intensifies* 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this was one hell of a trainride with a hella lot going on... im somehow incapable of not making this whole thing a mess lol
> 
> some of the new characters at the beginning of the chapter will appear again in future chapters! mainly the already named ones, but there are a few in there that had no chance to shine yet while i do have some plans for them :)
> 
> AND YES THE FIRST COUPLE WOOO HMU ABOUT HOW FUCKING AMAZING SOONCHAN IS BECAUSE AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (and i did not realise this but looking back at the last couple of messages from chan those could have been my messages.... woops)
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed this chapter and i love to hear your thoughts from it! :D
> 
>  
> 
> maybe i should also learn to one day not post at 1 am.... maybe.... someday...................


	6. Private chat hoshi - savage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **MoonMoon:** Wait, they were making out?
> 
> **xuminghoe:** yes???  
>  **xuminghoe:** what did you think they were doing??
> 
> **MoonMoon:** i thought they were duelling or something…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all soooooo much for 500+ views and 50 kudos!!!

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**xuminghoe:** honestly

**xuminghoe:** how did nobody realise before that soonyoung and chan are dating?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** you KNEW???

 

**xuminghoe :** lmfao yes of course i knew

**xuminghoe:** these two are not exactly the best at hiding things

**Xuminghoe:** these two think that theyre slick af cause noooo of course it aint suspicious that the both of them leave during dance breaks to go to the ‘toilet’ and come back just shortly after each other looking completely disheveled.

**xuminghoe:** totally

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** WHAT

 

**xuminghoe:** not

**xuminghoe:** suspicious

 

**MoonMoon:** Wait, they were making out?

 

**xuminghoe:** yes???

**xuminghoe:** what did you think they were doing??

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** WHAT

 

**MoonMoon:** i thought they were duelling or something…

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** pls let that be reality

 

**hoshi:** Jeonghan

**hoshi:** Shut up

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** never

 

**Page394:** Jun why would you think that?

 

**MoonMoon:** let me still believe in Chans innocence

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** I’m a 4th year!!

 

**MoonMoon:** exactly!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** EXACTLY!!

**hoshi:** why do people still worry about chans innocence yet not about mine?

 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** babe

**Antipodean Opaleye:** anyone with eyes and a brain that sees you dancing can clearly see that most of your innocence has already left your body

**Antipodean Opaleye:** if not all 

**Antipodean Opaleye:** by this point already

 

**xuminghoe:** savage chan?

**xuminghoe:** a concept

 

**_xuminghoe_ ** **changed** **_Antipodean Opaleye_ ** **’s name to** **_savage_ **

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** asdfghjklasldnuierivlhmavsuleroiseverybodyjustgoingtoignorethatchancalledsoonyoungbabekbjeliuavdsknbjearnlvkzsknv,veriaorenkasvd

 

**hoshi:** yes

 

**savage:** yes

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** you two dont count

 

**gryffindad:** is it bad to let them keep their relationship for themselves?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** YES?!?!!?

 

**savage:** no

 

**hoshi:** no

 

**gryffindad:** no

 

**JisoosPotter:** no

**JisoosPotter:** Jeonghan

**JisoosPotter:** let them be

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** jisoo

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** shua

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** dearie

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** no

 

**smol:** “dearie”??????

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** chan is my kid

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** he deserves better than soonyoung

 

**hoshi:** dude???

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** so no

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** i will not ‘let them be’

 

**savage:** you’re not my dad

**savage:** nor my mom

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** BETRAYAL

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** oh man

**PEEKABOOOOII:** i just love how our houses seem to have their own parental figures

**PEEKABOOOOII:** whether they are successful in their attempts is a whole other case of course

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** uhm excuse you my kids aint disrespectful little shits they actually listen to me

 

**savage:** no we don’t

**savage:** we really

**savage:** really

**savage:** don’t

 

**smol:** Jeonghan is just the unofficial parent from a lot of us

**smol:** He exclaimed himself without caring about what we think

**smol:** Which is mainly why we don’t listen to him

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Uhm

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** no

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I care alot about my kids!

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I am

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** honestly speaking

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** the best parent out of all of them

 

**savage:** no

 

**hoshi:** you

 

**smol:** are

 

**MoonMoon:** not

 

**xuminghoe:** im siding with them on this

**xuminghoe:** cause seriously man

**xuminghoe:** no

 

**puffthegyu:** guessing from the short time that I know you I am doubting that so hard rn

 

**MoonMoon:** look, even Mingyu is disagreeing!

 

**smol:** Mingyu is smart

**smol:** I like Mingyu

 

**Confringo:** watch the most daddest dad get confused about being the best dad here despite all the dad signs clearly telling him that he is, in fact, dad

 

**gryffindad:** wait

**gryffindad:** who is the gryffindor dad?

 

**puffthegyu:** is he joking right now?

 

**Confringo:** a confused dad in his natural habit

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** seungcheol

**PEEKABOOOOII:** dad

 

**gryffindad:** yes?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** gryffindad

**PEEKABOOOOII:** take a wild guess at who the gryffindor dad can be

 

**gryffindad:** nayoung?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** yeah, sure

**PEEKABOOOOII:** gryffin **MOM** is the daddest dad to ever dad as a gryffindor as of right now

 

**xuminghoe:** I seriously do not know if he is serious right now

 

**gryffindad:** I’m not sirius, I’m dad!

**gryffindad:** …

**gryffindad:** ooohhhhh…

 

**Confringo:** Seungcheol is a whole other idiot

**Confringo:** confused dad no more

 

**smol:** Who is Nayoung?

 

**Confringo:** nayoung is the gryffindor head girl 

**Confringo:** and the quidditch seeker

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** and a bloody brilliant witch

 

**Confringo:** she hangs out with seungcheol sometimes and there is a bet among the gryffindors whether or not those two are dating

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** neither seungcheol nor nayoung have denied nor confirmed it

**PEEKABOOOOII:** so the bet is still going strong

 

**Incendio:** for the record, I still think that Nayoung is secretly dating that ravenclaw she hangs out with a lot

 

**Confringo:** and for the record, you are literally the only one who thinks that

 

**Incendio:** Somi does too!

 

**Confringo:** okay then thats two people who think that seungcheol and nayoung are not dating vs literally everyone else

 

**smol:** Why are you all discussing this with Seungcheol literally there?

 

**gryffindad:** i figured that when i just let them be, the less annoying they are on the topic

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_hoshi - savage_ **

 

**hoshi:** chan

**hoshi:** babe

**hoshi:** are you okay with officially confirming our relationship to our friends?

 

**savage:** i mean

**savage:** its not like hiding it will still be affective

 

**hoshi:** i know babe but 

**hoshi:** if you still feel uncomfortable with telling them then thats okay

**hoshi:** ill still be here with you, whether you want to tell them now or when we stand in front of their graves or literally any moment inbetween

**hoshi:** i will still be standing next to you, holding your hand, giving you a shoulder to lean on when you need it

**hoshi:** please dont forget that

 

**savage:** I know, soon, i know

**savage:** but i’d feel better if we tell them right now

**savage:** it just feels wrong not to, as if we’re hiding it from them again

 

**hoshi:** i understand you channie

**hoshi:** you want me to be the one to break the news to them while you hold my hand?

 

**savage:** yes pls

**savage:** im in my room

 

**hoshi:** im coming over

**hoshi:** right now

**hoshi:** as fast as I can

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**hoshi:** so

**hoshi:** me and chan are currently dating

**hoshi:** despite being seen kissing each other in the hallway we hadnt yet said anything yet???

**hoshi:** so now you all know

**hoshi:** and yes jeonghan, i know you’d rather not have this but thats your problem then

**hoshi:** you gotta learn to live with it

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** yes!

 

**Incendio:** yes!

 

**smol:** yes!

 

**gryffindad:** yes!

 

**xuminghoe:** yes!

 

**Confringo:** yes!

 

**puffthegyu:** yes!

 

**Page394:** yes!

 

**MoonMoon:** yes!

 

**JisoosPotter:** yes!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** no!

 

**savage:** well 

**savage:** thats your problem then

**savage:** last time i checked

**savage:** you werent involved in this relationship

**savage:** so why should your opinion matter that much in it?

 

**xuminghoe:** damn

**xuminghoe:** he truly is savage

**xuminghoe:** im proud

 

**savage:**

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_PEEKABOOOOII - Incendio_ **

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** hey boo

**PEEKABOOOOII:** so we have this test in transfiguration next week

**PEEKABOOOOII:** and i was wondering if you wanted to study for it with me this weekend

 

**Incendio:** I kinda

**Incendio:** already have something planned this weekend

**Incendio:** with

**Incendio:** seokmin! 

**Incendio:** yeah, with seokmin

**Incendio:** im sorry 

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** nah its okay

**PEEKABOOOOII:** we can still do stuff another time, right?

 

**Incendio:** yeah

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** great!

**PEEKABOOOOII:** I hope youll do well on the test :)

  
**Incendio:** you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i have something interesting to say? no, not really


	7. UPDATE

So after recieving a lot of feedback from readers and friends I've come to the conclusion that while I still love to surprise you all with the ships I have in mind, I decided that I will put them in the tags already. For clarification: all ships will be in the 'ships' part of the fic, and the tags will say if a pairing is already confirmed or if a pairing is yet to be established. I hope that you all understand this and will keep on supporting this fic!

(with that being said, thank you all so much for the positive feedback this fic has been getting, it's insane and still quite unbelievable!! AAAAHHH!!!!)


	8. slythersquad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** excellent question Mingyu!  
>  **~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~:** thank the heavens for asking that question!!
> 
>  **puffthegyu:** okay…  
>  **puffthegyu:** should i be scared?
> 
>  **smol:** Knowing Jeonghan  
>  **smol:** Yes  
>  **smol:** Yes, you should
> 
>  **puffthegyu:** shiiiittt
> 
>  **JisoosPotter:** I was gonna say language  
>  **JisoosPotter:** but Mingyu  
>  **JisoosPotter:** swearing???

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**puffthegyu:** you know what i was wondering about

**puffthegyu:** i mean, we figured out already who we all are and why soonyoung decided to throw us all in this groupchat

**puffthegyu:** but we never really talked why this groupchat was made in the first place

 

**xuminghoe:** how long have you been wondering about this?

 

**puffthegyu:** pretty much since the start of this mess

 

**JisoosPotter:** that was weeks ago…

 

**puffthegyu:** soo???

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** excellent question Mingyu!

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** thank the heavens for asking that question!!

 

**puffthegyu:** okay…

**puffthegyu:** should i be scared?

 

**smol:** Knowing Jeonghan

**smol:** Yes

**smol:** Yes, you should

 

**puffthegyu:** shiiiittt

 

**JisoosPotter:** I was gonna say language

**JisoosPotter:** but Mingyu

**JisoosPotter:** swearing???

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** uhm

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** can we go back to the subject of the conversation

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** namely

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** me and my genius ideas

 

**puffthegyu:** pretty sure thats not it

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** are you really sure

 

**puffthegyu:** as the one who asked the question in the first place

**puffthegyu:** yeah

**puffthegyu:** i am

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** well

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** back to what i was going to say

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** aka

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** the important stuff

 

**puffthegyu:** doubt that

 

**smol:** you seem to be doubting a lot of things

 

**puffthegyu:** when it comes to jeonghan

**puffthegyu:** i doubt everything

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** uhm

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why do you all constantly try to take the conversation somewhere other than what i was going to talk about??

 

**savage:** why dont you just finish typing your ‘interesting’ story instead of constantly asking questions trying to steer the conversation back to a place it was already in?

 

**smol:** a true savage

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** aaaaannnnd im just gonna pretend like that never happened

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** i made this groupchat in the first place so me and my slytherinfriends could gather

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** so this was originally meant as just the slythersquad

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** but then soonyoung decided it would be a good moment to set his crazy plan in action

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** so now we’re here!!

 

**puffthgyu:** okay

**puffthegyu:** :)

 

**smol:** Why do I have the feeling that Jeonghan just unlocked passive aggressive Mingyu

 

**xuminghoe:** quite an accomplishment 

**xuminghoe:** i dont think ive ever seen mingyu any form of aggresive

 

**puffthegyu:** :)

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** i think i should be the one getting scared rn

 

**puffthegyu: :)**

 

**savage: :)**

 

**xuminghoe: :)**

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** aaannndd they’re teaming up jup thats it iMG OING

 

**savage:** you better

 

**smol:** i really like savage chan

**smol:** a lot

 

**hoshi:** saaaammmeee

 

**smol:** you love every part of chan tho

 

**hoshi:** true, but is that relevant to the original statement?

 

**smol:** maybe?

 

**hoshi: ‘** maybe’ is not a good enough answer for me

 

**JisoosPotter:** totally unrelated but has anyone else noticed that jihoon normally cares a lot about punctuation and capital letters

**JisoosPotter:** and today just completely doesnt

 

**smol:** maybe its just because im tired and i do not give a shit about normal grammar rn

 

**hoshi:** uhm

**hoshi:** hello?

**hoshi:** can the demon that is currently possessing jihoon please leave his body again?

**hoshi:** because this doesnt look like the jihoon i know

**hoshi:** please?

**hoshi:** i miss my friend

 

**smol:** im not gone nor possessed you dipshit im just tired

 

**JisoosPotter:** soonyoung

**JisoosPotter:** question

**JisoosPotter:** had jihoon really been possessed by a demon

**JisoosPotter:** do you really think that by asking it politely to leave

**JisoosPotter:** it would actually be like “oh well sorry didn’t mean to possess this person, im sorry for inconveniencing your day like this, let me just leave now, oh wait maybe i should give you something in return for being such an inconvenience? what about some chocolates or a free, new possession when it does work for you!” 

 

**hoshi:** was that sarcasm?

 

**JisoosPotter:** was that so hard to tell?

 

**hoshi:** and what is wrong with politely asking?

 

**smol:** in case of a demonic possession

**smol:** a lot

 

**hoshi:** are all of you against me now?

 

**JisoosPotter:** does it look like the opposite?

 

**hoshi:** brb

**hoshi:** im gonna join jeonghan

 

**xuminghoe:** but he left?

 

**hoshi:** exactly

 

\---------

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **started a new chat**

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **named the chat** **_slythersquad_ **

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added** **_MoonMoon_ **

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added** **_hoshi_ **

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added** **_smol_ **

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **added** **_savage_ **

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** thanks to mingyu i realised that the original idea of the slythersquad got ruined by soonyoung and that i never tried to fix it

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** so here we are!

 

**smol:** nooooooo

 

**hoshi:** is it just me or is everybody out to drag me today?

 

**savage:** definitely the latter

 

**MoonMoon:** damn

**MoonMoon:** chan isnt even holding back on his boyfriend

**MoonMoon:** im here for this

 

\---------

 

**Private chat** **_MoonMoon - Page394_ **

 

**MoonMoon:** hey wonwoo

**MoonMoon:** youre in muggle studies too right?

 

**Page394:** yeah

**Page394:** why?

 

**MoonMoon:** i was wondering if you could help me with the homework for it?

**MoonMoon:** ive been trying to understand whatever it is that we’re currently discussing but i just cant

**MoonMoon:** and since youre good in literally every class i was wondering if, you know, you could help me with this?

 

**Page394:** sure!

**Page394:** we can meet in the library after classes today if thats okay with you?

 

**MoonMoon:** aaahhh thank you thank you thank you ill see u there!

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**gryffindad:** you know, a house-only groupchat doesn’t sound wrong actually

 

**savage:** no

**savage:** seungcheol

**savage:** do not, i repeat, do NOT fall for jeonghans dumb ideas

**savage:** he will literally not shut up about it

**savage:** please

**savage:** i do not need more of that

 

**puffthegyu:** …

 

**gryffindad:** what about

**gryffindad:** too late chan im putting this plan into work

 

**savage:** NOOOOOO

**savage:** it was nice knowing you all 

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** chan

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** what do you mean that my ideas are dumb?

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** even seungcheol is following them!

 

**puffthegyu:** …

 

**savage:** jeonghan

**savage:** no matter which idiot decides to follow your plan

**savage:** theyll still be dumb as fuck

 

**xuminghoe:** chan dragging jeonghan will never get old

 

\---------

 

**_gryffindad_ ** **started a new chat**

 

**_gryffindad_ ** **named the chat** **_the golden gryffindors_ **

 

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_Confringo_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_Incendio_ **

**_gryffindad_ ** **added** **_PEEKABOOOOII_ **

 

**gryffindad:** now we have a groupchat too!

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** sounds nice and all but what in hecks name are we going to use this chat for

**PEEKABOOOOII:** have you thought about that yet?

 

**gryffindad:** no…

**gryffindad:** but don’t worry!

**gryffindad:** we’ll find something!

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** why do i suddenly fear that seungcheol will use any available moment to send something to this groupchat to prove that the weird idea jeonghan came up with is actually useful!

 

**Confringo:** sssshhhh

**Confringo:** youre giving him ideas!!!

**Confringo:** we dont want that to actually happen!

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** well shiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttt

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**hoshi:** you know

**hoshi:** im taking back my earlier thoughts

**hoshi:** because it is definitely not jihoon that is possessed by an actual demon

**hoshi:** its his cat

 

**Confringo:** jihoon has a pet cat?

 

**hoshi:** yes

**hoshi:** and it attacked me

**hoshi:** right as i entered our room that

**hoshi:** thing

 

**smol:** its a cat, not an object you idiot

 

**hoshi:** nearly jumped in my face

**hoshi:** my weak heart couldn’t take the vicious attack

**hoshi:** i am typing these words as the world around me slowly becomes darker

**hoshi:** tell chan that i loved him

 

**smol:** soonyoung

**smol:** skittles literally jumped against your leg

**smol:** when you want to fake die so you don’t have to do any homework for muggle studies

**smol:** please don’t do it by saying that you got a fake heart attack because your weak heart couldnt take having skittles jump against you

 

**Confringo:** Skittles?!?!??!!??

 

**smol:** let it be believable and say that you died because chan was too cute

**smol:** you do that on a daily basis already, i don’t think anyone would question that

 

**savage:** soonyoung

**savage:** please come off the floor so we can cuddle

 

**hoshi:** suddenly im alive again

**hoshi:** im always up for cuddles

 

**savage:** yeah well you first have to do your homework tho before im even letting you come close to me

 

**hoshi:** wow death hello i missed you those 2 seconds i was alive again

**hoshi:** no old friend, you truly did not miss much

**hoshi:** only my boyfriend and my best friend betraying me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everybody!! I hope that you all like this new update! there is definitely some foreshadowing going on right now, but whatever could it be?
> 
> Thank you to my dear friend Cel aka incorrect7teen on tumblr for giving me yet another wonderful idea that is partly set up already and partly not.... but it will definitely appear in the next couple of chapters
> 
> Thank you all again for the amazing positive feedback that I've been getting. It's insane to see so many people liking what Im writing and looking forward for new updates :D I certainly hope that I do not dissapoint anyone with every new chapter that I put out :D
> 
> I hope for you all that 2018 will be an absolutely incredible and amazing new year!


	9. Chat of the most awesome idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **xuminghoe:** okay im either still sleeping or I was just the only witness of a miracle  
>  **xuminghoe:** i just saw Jun  
>  **xuminghoe:** in the library
> 
> **savage:** does he even know a library exists?
> 
> **PEEKABOOOOII:** a library?  
>  **PEEKABOOOOII:** not even the library?
> 
> **savage:** i said what i said

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**xuminghoe:** okay im either still sleeping or I was just the only witness of a miracle

**xuminghoe:** i just saw Jun

**xuminghoe:** in the library

 

**savage:** does he even know a library exists?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** a library?

**PEEKABOOOOII:** not even the library?

 

**savage:** i said what i said

**savage:** :)

 

**xuminghoe:** yeah but thats not the weirdest part?

**xuminghoe:** not only was Jun in the library

**xuminghoe:** he was actually studying there

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** *gasps*

 

**hoshi:** yo

**hoshi:** @the demon that was possessing jihoon last week

**hoshi:** can ya like

**hoshi:** stop

**hoshi:** with possessing my friends?

 

**smol:** Don’t

**smol:** This Jun is actually studying

**smol:** Who knows, maybe he’ll end up a lot nicer too

**smol:** I mean, if we can get that out of that than hell

**smol:** That demon has my support in possessing Jun from now on

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** wait shit u right

 

**MoonMoon:** I’m not possessed??!!!?!??!?!??!?!?

**MoonMoon:** wtf!!???!?!

**MoonMoon:** thanks a bunch u all

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<|~~(*)<~: ** love u 2

 

**MoonMoon:** no u dont

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** shit u right

 

**MoonMoon:** and whats wrong with me studying?

 

**xuminghoe:** the fact that you never do it?

 

**MoonMoon:** how do you know that i dont study?

 

**smol:** because

**smol:** everyone

**smol:** does??

 

**xuminghoe:** because you dont even try to deny it??

 

**savage:** for real why are you suddenly studying now

**savage:** you’ve managed all these years before without studying and barely passing each year

 

**Page394:** yeah that’s not gonna work for him now

**Page394:** (if it even worked for him before, can’t believe that it did)

**Page394:** i’m in the library to help him with muggle studies because Jun absolutely sucks at it

**Page394:** so naturally, he came to me to ask help from the best

 

**JisoosPotter:** Jun asked Wendy?

**JisoosPotter:** But then why are you helping him?

 

**Page394:** no…

**Page394:** he asked me…

 

**JisoosPotter:** Why would he ask you when he could ask the actual best, aka Wendy?

 

**Page394:** does it matter?

 

**xuminghoe:** yeah

 

**Page394:** well then

**Page394:** fuck u

 

\---------

 

**Chat of the most awesome idiots**

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** hey

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** shua

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** question

 

**JisoosPotter:** what?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** so me and seungcheol have already made the amazing decision to make a new chat for the slytherin folks and the gryffindor folks 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** have u already made one for the ravenclaw bunch?

 

**JisoosPotter:** no

**JisoosPotter:** and im not going to

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** awh why not??

 

**JisoosPotter:** because I dont need to do what you two do to

**JisoosPotter:** besides

**JisoosPotter:** what are these chats even used for?

 

**gryffindad:** useful stuff

 

**JisoosPotter:** there hasnt been anything said since you set it up, right?

 

**gryffindad:** maybe…

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** but even then!

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** you have to make one

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** otherwise you dont truly belong in this chat

 

**JisoosPotter:** and thats supposed to phase me?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** yes!!

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** come on jisoo

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** please??

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** for me??

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** *puppy eyes*

 

**JisoosPotter:** *sighs*

**JisoosPotter:** okay

 

**gryffindad:** !!whipped!!

 

**JisoosPotter:** under the sole condition that when there still isn’t a legit reason for using these chats in a month I get to delete all three of them, set you up for a date with a girl

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why you have to attack my gay ass like that

 

**JisoosPotter:** AND you’ll give up as the sole parent of Chan 

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** *gasps*

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** never!

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** how could you do this to me??

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** and here I thought that you liked me…

 

**JisoosPotter:** clearly you thought wrong

**JisoosPotter:** :)

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** oh man it’s on

 

\---------

 

**Private chat gryffindad - JisoosPotter**

 

**gryffindad:** “clearly you thought wrong” my ass

**gryffindad:** how often did you come to me to complain about how hot you thought jeonghan was that day and that this was just unfair to the universe?

 

**JisoosPotter:** fuck

**JisoosPotter:** you

 

**gryffindad:** nah, jeonghan can do that

 

**JisoosPotter:** oh yeah, you have nayoung already, right?

 

**gryffindad:** i dont!   
**gryffindad:** why do people keep bringing that up thinking that we’re actually dating when we’re not!!

 

**JisoosPotter:** the longer you live in deniaaaalll :)

 

**gryffindad:** I do not! Like Nayoung

 

**JisoosPotter:** Yeah, and I’m not madly in love with Jeonghan

 

**gryffindad:** but u do??

 

**JisoosPotter:** exactly :):)

 

\---------

 

**_JisoosPotter_ ** **started a new chat**

 

**_JisoosPotter_ ** **named the chat** **_the ravenclaws_ **

 

**_JisoosPotter_ ** **added** **_Page394_ **

**_JisoosPotter_ ** **added** **_xuminghoe_ **

 

**JisoosPotter:** I wish that I could say I did this with my own free will

**JisoosPotter:** But the only reason this chat was made was because of a bet between me and Jeonghan

 

**xuminghoe:** oooeehh

**xuminghoe:** what did you bet about?

 

**JisoosPotter:** I told Jeonghan that there was no reason for these chats and if he still hadn’t found a reason for them to exist in a month than he has to delete all three of the extra chats and give up on being Chans only parent

 

**xuminghoe:** and he agreed to that??

 

**JisoosPotter:** surprisingly

**JisoosPotter:** yes

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**Confringo:** hey has anyone seen Mingyu?

**Confringo:** he wasn’t at breakfast…

 

**savage:** it’s also been some time since he reacted in the chat here...

 

**xuminghoe:** he was in class, but he said on the opposite side of the classroom and didn’t even look at me

**xuminghoe:** is it weird that im worried??

 

**JisoosPotter:** maybe he just isn’t feeling well?

 

**xuminghoe:** let’s hope it’s just that...

 

\---------

 

**Private chat xuminghoe - puffthegyu**

 

**xuminghoe:** hey mingyu

**xuminghoe:** gyu

**xuminghoe:** you okay?

 

**puffthegyu:** yeah dw

**puffthegyu:** im fine

**puffthegyu:** nothing to worry about :)

 

**xuminghoe:** yeah its just that you werent at breakfast 

**xuminghoe:** and normally we talk before class but today you just ignored me and went to sit on the opposite side of the classroom without even looking at my direction?

**xuminghoe:** shua said that it could just be that you aren’t feeling well today 

**xuminghoe:** and I dont know but i just got worried so i wanted to check up on you to make sure you are still okay

 

**puffthegyu:** as i said already

**puffthegyu:** im totally fine

**puffthegyu:** there is absolutely nothing going on

**puffthegyu:** there is no reason for you to get worried

**puffthegyu:** so dont, okay?

 

**xuminghoe:** gyu

**xuminghoe:** i really want to believe you

**xuminghoe:** but why did you leave the classroom saying that you had to go to the toilet looking like you were about to burst out in tears?

**xuminghoe:** gyu?

**xuminghoe:** mingyu?

 

**puffthegyu:** as i said

**puffthegyu:** im fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, singing, after writing this ending: I'm fine fine fine fine fine fine~
> 
> Am I still finished with the idea that my friend gave me? Hell no! do i hope that you all will like it when i am finished with it? hell yes!
> 
> *silently cries because the response to this mess is insane*
> 
> ~~(and yes, I do still feel like whatever I'm writing for this fic is not good enough and not funny enough and insanely OOC but does that stop me? no, i have too much plans for that)~~


	10. Private chat xuminghoe - Confringo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Confringo:** Minghao?
> 
>  **xuminghoe:** yes?
> 
>  **Confringo:** I know the two of us aren’t that close as you are with the rest  
>  **Confringo:** But maybe you would like to hang out today after class?  
>  **Confringo:** You dont have to say yes of course if you dont want to  
>  **Confringo:** but i thought maybe it would be nice for you to just go out and do something?  
>  **Confringo:** which we of course totally do not have to because i completely understand if youd rather do something with your close friends than with me but you know
> 
>  **xuminghoe:** that sounds really nice seokmin  
>  **xuminghoe:** id love to  
>  **xuminghoe:** thank you

**Private chat xuminghoe - Confringo**

 

**xuminghoe:** Seokmin…

**xuminghoe:** has Mingyu talked to you?

**xuminghoe:** I know the two of you aren’t as close but I just want to know if he is doing okay

 

**Confringo:** I wish I could tell you but I have no idea where he is

**Confringo:** I’ve seen him in class but I never see him enter or leave

**Confringo:** It’s like he’s just 

**Confringo:** there?

**Confringo:** but I never see him outside of class…

**Confringo:** I’m sorry

 

**xuminghoe:** Don’t be, it’s not your fault

**xuminghoe:** i just wish i knew what is going on

**xuminghoe:** so i could just help him, you know?

 

**Confringo:** lets just hope that Mingyu has his reasons for this all, and that he’ll start talking to you again soon

 

**xuminghoe:** im hoping

**xuminghoe:** a lot

 

**Confringo:** Minghao?

 

**xuminghoe:** yes?

 

**Confringo:** I know the two of us aren’t that close as you are with the rest

**Confringo:** But maybe you would like to hang out today after class?

**Confringo:** You dont have to say yes of course if you dont want to

**Confringo:** but i thought maybe it would be nice for you to just go out and do something?

**Confringo:** which we of course totally do not have to because i completely understand if youd rather do something with your close friends than with me but you know

 

**xuminghoe:** that sounds really nice seokmin

**xuminghoe:** id love to

**xuminghoe:** thank you

 

\---------

 

**Private chat xuminghoe - puffthegyu**

 

**xuminghoe:** hey gyu

**xuminghoe:** i know we’re not really talking rn

**xuminghoe:** but i just wanted to tell you that whatever is bothering you

**xuminghoe:** were still here to help you and support you through it

**xuminghoe:** i guess i just wanted to tell you that…

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**MoonMoon:** hey

**MoonMoon:** does anyone know why minghao is moping around so much?

 

**smol:** His favourite hufflepuff is completely ignoring him

**smol:** Who is

**smol:** coincidentally

**smol:** also the only hufflepuff he is friends with

 

**JisoosPotter:** mingyu?

 

**smol:** yes

 

**xuminghoe:** im not moping around okay

 

**MoonMoon:** nope sorry

**MoonMoon:** of course you’re not

**MoonMoon:** you’re just being really moody, like how you were in your second year

**MoonMoon:** and just ignoring everybody that is not your phone or Seokmin

 

**Confringo:** wait youre not ignoring me?

**Confringo:** awh

**Confringo:** now i feel so honoured!

 

**xuminghoe:** thats just because youre not being an ass like jun

**xuminghoe:** which is one of the reasons why i am ignoring him

**xuminghoe:** or just THE reason why

**xuminghoe:** because jun is an annoying idiot

 

**MoonMoon:** awh thank you!

**MoonMoon:** i love you too!

 

\---------

 

**the ravenclaws**

 

**xuminghoe:** hey shua

**xuminghoe:** i think i know why mingyu has been avoiding us

**xuminghoe:** so jeonghan takes a lot of pride in the fact that he is the reason behind these new chats, right?

 

**JisoosPotter:** yes…

 

**xuminghoe:** all boasting himself up that he got such a genius idea and all and that ‘uniting with people from your own house is such a good thing’!!

 

**JisoosPotter:** I wish he would shut up about it during breakfast

 

**xuminghoe:** yeah well you’re not the only one

**xuminghoe:** i think the reason mingyu stopped coming to breakfast and stopped talking to us both in the groupchat and during class and free time is because he felt left out?

**xuminghoe:** i mean, he is the only hufflepuff from the thirteen of us…

 

**JisoosPotter:** …

**JisoosPotter:** is it weird that i feel dumb for not realising that?

 

**Page394:** have you talked to mingyu about it already?

 

**xuminghoe:** not yet…

**xuminghoe:** he is still avoiding me but like

**xuminghoe:** not only me

**xuminghoe:** cause everybody ive asked told me they havent spoken to him in days

 

**JisoosPotter:** well shit

**JisoosPotter:** im gonna talk to jeonghan for a second

**JisoosPotter:** but first

 

**_JisoosPotter_ ** **added** **_puffthegyu_ **

 

**JisoosPotter:** regardless of your ideas being true or not, 

**JisoosPotter:** I have now officially adopted Mingyu as my third son

 

**Page394:** why are we your other two?

 

**JisoosPotter:** dont know, you should probably ask Jeonghan about that

 

\---------

 

**Private chat xuminghoe - puffthegyu**

 

**xuminghoe:** youre an idiot

**xuminghoe:** an absolute idiot

**xuminghoe:** but i guess that i am too, for not seeing it sooner

**xuminghoe:** but im staying by the idea that you are the bigger idiot for not just saying something

**xuminghoe:** though…

**xuminghoe:** it would be so awkward if i was wrong…

**xuminghoe:** you were feeling left out, right?

**xuminghoe:** being the only hufflepuff of our group and hearing everybody talk about their houses and these stupid new chats of jeonghan

**xuminghoe:** and jeonghans weird ideas in general

 

**puffthegyu:** …

**puffthegyu:** …

**puffthegyu:** …

**puffthegyu:** …

**puffthegyu:** …

**puffthegyu:** ...

**puffthegyu:** would you be mad if i tell you thats the truth?

 

**xuminghoe:** no?

**xuminghoe:** im mad that you didnt tell it sooner

**xuminghoe:** but im not mad at you for feeling like that

**xuminghoe:** you had every reason for it

**xuminghoe:** now, would you like to meet so we can share some donuts together and just sit by the lake?

 

**puffthegyu:** ...yeah

**puffthegyu:** sounds great

**puffthegyu:** and minghao?

 

**xuminghoe:** yeah?

 

**puffthegyu:** im sorry for how i reacted to you

 

**xuminghoe:** dont worry gyu

**xuminghoe:** its okay :)

 

\---------

 

**Chat of the most awesome idiots**

 

**JisoosPotter:** Jeonghan

**JisoosPotter:** Where are you right now

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** the main hall

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** y?

 

**JisoosPotter:** Do not move, stay exactly where you are right now

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** …

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** should i be scared?

 

**JisoosPotter:** Yes

**JisoosPotter:** Very much so

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** what did i do??

 

**JisoosPotter:** Because of your genius ideas, Mingyu felt left out of the group

**JisoosPotter:** Which resulted in him avoiding all of us

**JisoosPotter:** Which is the reason why Minghao has been feeling so moody and distant

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** wait how is that my fault?

 

**JisoosPotter:** You were the one to come with the idea of making house specific group chats, forgetting that we have one hufflepuff friend in the chat

**JisoosPotter:** You hurt my children

**JisoosPotter:** So now you have to pay the price

**JisoosPotter:** :)

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** well shiiiiittt

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **left the chat**

 

**gryffindad:** he just ran away as fast as he could 

**gryffindad:** youre not really gonna hurt him when you find him, right?

 

**JisoosPotter:** nah, i just want him to apologise to Mingyu

**JisoosPotter:** thats all :)

 

\---------

 

**Private chat Confringo - xuminghoe**

 

**Confringo:** hey minghao!

**Confringo:** i was wondering if you wanted to do something together?

**Confringo:** since, you know, we dont have classes right now

**Confringo:** and i actually really liked hanging out with you the other day so i was just wondering if you wanted to do that again?

 

**xuminghoe:** i would love to!

**xuminghoe:** but im hanging out with mingyu already

 

**Confringo:** you two made up!

**Confringo:** thats nice to hear!

**Confringo:** maybe we can hang out some other day, if you still want to, that is?

 

**xuminghoe:** you can also just join us?

 

**Confringo:** nah, you two deserve some time together

**Confringo:** there is always a next time, right?

 

**xuminghoe:** you sure? Cause both gyu and i are totally okay with you joining

 

**Confringo:** dont worry

**Confringo:** enjoy your time together

**Confringo:** :)

 

\---------

 

**Private chat ~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ - puffthegyu**

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Hey Mingyu,

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I want to say that I’m sorry.

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I heard from Jisoo what had happened and i feel like such a dick for not seeing it.

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I’m sorry for making you feel that way.

 

**puffthegyu:** its okay jeonghan

**puffthegyu:** dont worry :)

**puffthegyu:** and wow, jeonghan caring about capital letter and proper grammar???

**puffthegyu:** brb gotta screenshot this and send this in the group because they wont believe this happened otherwise

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** ….

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** that one time i tried…

 

**puffthegyu:** dont worry jeonghan

**puffthegyu:** its okay :)

**puffthegyu:** i got some closer friends out of this so

**puffthegyu:** thank you :)

  
**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** though it was definitely not my intention to make you feel less wanted in this group im glad to hear that from you :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is definitely one of the more serious chapters, but i hope you all still like it anyway! Again, thank you so much Cel for giving me inspiration for the past 3 chapters, I hope I did your idea justice :)
> 
> On a positive, totally unrelated note: In October I had taken my Cambride English exams and I can officially say that I passed them! I have passed my cpe exam! I am now officially a near-native English speaker!! AAAAHHHHH


	11. Confringo named the chat The now-not-so-much-exploding not-so-much-of-a-trio-anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Confringo:** And to think that you were the one who set everything up.
> 
>  **Incendio:** The inventor of the whole plan.  
>  **Incendio:** The creator of the majesticness.  
>  **Incendio:** The mastermind behind it all.
> 
>  **Confringo:** To think that you are the one to let us down.
> 
>  **Incendio:** It truly is heartbreaking.

**The Exploding Trio**

 

 **Confringo:** Soonyoung

 **Confringo:** It’s time we had a talk

 

 **Incendio:** This is serious business so Soonyoung, you might want to sit down for this.

 

 **hoshi:** uhm

 **hoshi:** what the fuck is going on

 

 **Confringo:** Please watch your language, Soonyoung

 

 **hoshi:** what in the everloving heckle is this?

 

 **Incendio:** It has come to our attention that you have let us down and we simply cannot let it go unnoticed.

 

 **hoshi:** guys??

 **hoshi:** what??

 

 **Confringo:** And to think that you were the one who set everything up.

 

 **Incendio:** The inventor of the whole plan.

 **Incendio:** The creator of the majesticness.

 **Incendio:** The mastermind behind it all.

 

 **Confringo:** To think that you are the one to let us down.

 

 **Incendio:** It truly is heartbreaking.

 

 **hoshi:** im sorry

 **hoshi:** but im really not following it

 

 **Confringo:** Thanks to the fact that you changed your username.

 

 **Incendio:** We aren’t The Exploding Trio anymore.

 

 **hoshi:** that…

 **hoshi:** thats what youre mad about?

 

 **Incendio:** yes???

 

 **Confringo:** obviously??

 **Confringo:** now we’re the not-so-exploding-trio thanks to you!

 

 **Incendio:** dont u mean the exploding not-so-much-of-a-trio-anymore?

 

 **_hoshi_ ** **changed his username to** **_Expulso_ **

 

 **Confringo:** no…

 

 **Incendio:** its too late already

 

 **_Confringo_ ** **named the chat** **_The now-not-so-much-exploding not-so-much-of-a-trio-anymore_ **

 

 **Expulso:** Im sorry okay!

 

 **Confringo:** Too

 

 **Incendio:** Late

 

\---------

 

**Private chat puffthegyu - Confringo**

 

 **puffthegyu:** Hey seokmin!

 **puffthegyu:** Do you have anything to do after classes today?

 

 **Confringo:** dont think so but i gotta take a look

 **Confringo:** why?

 

 **puffthegyu:** i was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out today?

 **puffthegyu:** minghao might also come, but that depends on if he has to go to quidditch training or not

 

 **Confringo:** ah

 **Confringo:** i just realised i actually have to study

 **Confringo:** for a test!

 **Confringo:** so im afraid i cant come

 **Confringo:** :)

 

 **puffthegyu:** oh…

 **puffthegyu:** maybe next time?

 

 **Confringo:** uh

 **Confringo:** maybe?

 

 **puffthegyu:** okay!

 **puffthegyu:** good luck on your test!

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

 **JisoosPotter:** WHAT TIME IS IT

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** SUMMERTIME

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** ITS OUR VACATION

 

 **JisoosPotter:** IT'S OUR VACATION

 **JisoosPotter:** WHAT TIME IS IT

 **JisoosPotter:** TIME OF OUR LIVES

 **JisoosPotter:** SCHOOLS OUT

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** SCREAM AND SHOUT

 

 **JisoosPotter:** SCREAM AND SHOUT

 

 **savage:**  i

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** WHAT TIME IS IT

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** TIME OF OUR LIVES

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** ANTICIPATION

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** WHAT TIME IS IT

 

 **JisoosPotter:** WHAT TIME IS IT

 

 **savage:**  didnt like highschool musical

 

 **JisoosPotter:** wow chan

 **JisoosPotter:** a non believer

 

 **PEEKABOOOII:** *gasps* is there a reason you do not like this cinamotagraphic masterpiece?

 

**JisoosPotter:**

 

 **savage::** idk i just thought it was annoying and overhyped

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** No hsm was the shit

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** So was zack and cody

 

 **savage:** i prefered camp rock

 

 **JisoosPotter:** CAMP

 **JisoosPotter:** ROCK

 

 **xuminghoe:** CAMP ROCK

 **xuminghoe:** WE ROCK

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** Omg camp rock i love that movie!!

 

 **JisoosPotter:** RAIDE YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND SCREAM

 **JisoosPotter:** WE'RE FINDING OUR VOICE FOLLOWING OUR DREAMS

 

 **savage:** i cried like a bitch at the last movie

 

 **JisoosPotter:** COS WE ROCK

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** WE ROCK

 

 **JisoosPotter:** WE ROCK WE ROCK ON

 

 **savage:** this is real

 **savage:** this is

 **savage:** mE

 

 **JisoosPotter:** NOBODY IN THE WORLD'S GONNA BRING US DOWN

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** I am exactly

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** WHERE IM SUPPOSED TO BE NOW

 

 **savage:** GONNA LET THE LIGHT

 **savage:** SHINE ON ME

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** Now i found

 

 **JisoosPotter:** THE LOUDER WE ARE WELL THE BETTER WE SOUND

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** WHO I AM

 

savage: THERES NO WAY TO HOLD IT IN

savage: NO MORE HIDING WHO I WANT TO BE

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** NO MORE HIDING WHO I WANNA BEEEE

 

 **savage:** THIS IS M E

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** THIS IS MEEE

 

 **JisoosPotter:** YOU'RE THE VOICE I HEAR INSIDE MY HEAD

 **JisoosPotter:** THE REASON THAT I'M SINGING

 **JisoosPotter:** I NEED TO FIND YOU

 **JisoosPotter:** I GOTTA RIND YOU

 **JisoosPotter:** YOU'RE THE MISSING PIECE I NEED

 **JisoosPotter:** THE SONG INSIDE OF ME

 **JisoosPotter:** I NEED TO FIND YOU

 **JisoosPotter:** I GOTTA FIND YOUUUUUUU

 

 **PEEKABOOOOII:** I GOTTA FIND YOOOOOOUUUUU

 

\---------

 

**Private chat MoonMoon - Page394**

 

 **MoonMoon:** thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u

 **MoonMoon:** THANK U

 

 **Page394:** Okay?

 **Page394:** I dont know what ive done but

 **Page394:** No problem?

 

 **MoonMoon:** thanks to u i got an E in muggle studies!!

 **MoonMoon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

 

 **Page394:** Congratulations!

 **Page394:** But that’s all because of you

 **Page394:** You don’t need to thank me :)

 

 **MoonMoon:** nah, you helped me a lot while studying for this

 **MoonMoon:** so i really got to thank you for this

 **MoonMoon:** cause without you I would have probably gotten a P with some luck

 **MoonMoon:** so thank you

 **MoonMoon:** A lot!!

 

 **Page394:** No problem :)

 **Page394:** If you ever need help again with studying, you can always ask me for help :)

 

 **MoonMoon:** ill keep it in mind :)

 **MoonMoon:** again

 **MoonMoon:** Thank you so much Wonwoo :D

 

\---------

 

**Private chat puffthegyu - xuminghoe**

 

 **puffthegyu:** hey hao

 **puffthegyu:** are you free tonight?

 

 **xuminghoe:** yeah

 **xuminghoe:** y?

 **xuminghoe:** want to ask me out on a date?

 **xuminghoe:** (˵¯͒〰¯͒˵)

 

 **puffthegyu:** no…

 

 **xuminghoe:** ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

 

 **puffthegyu:** ヾ((●＞□＜)ﾉ*:..｡o○ＳＯЯЯЧ○o。..:*ヽ(＞□＜●))ﾉｼ

 **puffthegyu:** no but you dont have quidditch practice tonight?

 

 **xuminghoe:** no, it got cancelled

 **xuminghoe:** apparently there is too much rain and wind for a proper practice right now?   
**xuminghoe:** sounds like bullshit because these aint weather conditions in which a quidditch match will be cancelled

 **xuminghoe:** but yeah im free tonight

 **xuminghoe:** can seokmin come too tonight?

 

 **puffthegyu:** no, he has a test too study for

 **puffthegyu:** at least, thats what he said

 **puffthegyu:** but he wouldnt lie about that, right?

 

 **xuminghoe:** knowing seokmin

 **xuminghoe:** probably not

 **xuminghoe:** lets just hope that he will be able to be there the next time

 

 **puffthegyu:** so we will be able to hold a proper movie marathon!

 

 **xuminghoe:** exactly!

 

\---------

 

**The now-not-so-much-exploding not-so-much-of-a-trio-anymore**

 

 **Confringo:** okay so

 **Confringo:** hypothetically speaking

 **Confringo:** what would you do if your hypothetical friend

 **Confringo:** has an hypothetical crush on an hypothetical somebody?

 **Confringo:** hypothetically, of course

 

 **Incendio:** help him with him?

 **Incendio:** Seokmin

 **Incendio:** do you have a crush on someone then?

 

 **Confringo:** No!

 **Confringo:** as i said

 **Confringo:** its the hypothetical crush of some hypothetical friend in this hypothetical situation

 **Confringo:** so no ‘me’ involved

 

 **Expulso:** really?

 

 **Incendio:** really?

 

 **Confringo:** yes?

 **Confringo:** no?

 **Confringo:** I dont know??

 **Confringo:** I might be having a crush but Im not sure?

 

 **Expulso:** wait

 **Expulso:** on who?

 

 **Confringo:** yeah that might be the problem here

 **Confringo:** its not 1 who

 **Confringo:** its 2 whos

 

 **Incendio:** and here i was

 **Incendio:** nearly afraid

 **Incendio:** that you were gonna say wonwoo of all people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that beautiful conversation about high school musical and camp rock is all thanks to my friends, what was meant as a 10:10 moment, and me not getting it because of timezones and thus starting a disney throwback


	12. Update!

Hey all! I'm sorry for the long wait for the next update. Next week is my holiday so I'll try my best to get a new chapter or two done so I can publish them for you all.  
Thank you for the positive reactions and the new comments! I'll make sure to react to them soon, but right now I'm really busy so I don't have much time for that... my next set of exams are coming up, I'm applying for universities and I want to put as much time as needed in these things. This sadly means that I'm stepping back a bit from this, but I promise that I won't be gone and that new stuff will come soon!

In the meantime I've been writing for a ChanxJihoon soulmate story (funny how I do have time and inspiration for that but not for the chatfic... bad me xD) and I was wondering if any of you are maybe interested in reading that! I'm trying to get as much of that finished soon so I won't spend too much time on it xD

I hope that you all are doing amazing and I, again, am truly sorry for making you wait for the next chapter!

\- Vera


	13. the golden gryffindors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **MoonMoon:** *gasps*  
>  **MoonMoon:** do you NOT know what is going on this weekend?????
> 
>  **Expulso:** ehhh  
>  **Expulso:** clearly not
> 
>  **MoonMoon:** *gasps intensifies*

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**MoonMoon:** okay @everyone

**MoonMoon:** gather round

**MoonMoon:** plans have to be made

**MoonMoon:** banners have to be crafted

**MoonMoon:** someone has to make some good ass cheers

 

**Expulso:** y

 

**MoonMoon:** *gasps*

**MoonMoon:** do you NOT know what is going on this weekend?????

 

**Expulso:** ehhh

**Expulso:** clearly not

 

**MoonMoon: *** gasps intensifies* 

**MoonMoon:** this weekend are the first quidditch games!

**MoonMoon:** it’s Gryffindor vs Slytherin!!

**MoonMoon:** how can you

**MoonMoon: as a Slytherin**

**MoonMoon:** not know this????

 

**Expulso:** Im not?? Really interested?? In quidditch?????

 

**savage:** I play quidditch though?

**savage:** I’m the Slytherin seeker!

 

**Expulso:** wow suddenly quidditch is my life??

**Expulso:** Im gonna be at every game

**Expulso:** with as much banners as one can possibly make + more?!!?

 

**smol:** *whispers* whipped

 

**MoonMoon:** how did you not know there was a quidditch game this weekend when your boyfriend is on the team??

 

**Expulso:** I totally

**Expulso:** did not

**Expulso:** COMPLETELY NOT

**Expulso:** forget about it!

 

**smol:** idiot

 

**Expulso:** shut

**Expulso:** up

 

\---------

 

**Chat of the most awesome idiots**

 

**JisoosPotter:** Hey Seungcheol?

 

**gryffindad:** Yes, Joshua?

 

**JisoosPotter:** do you perhaps remember a certain bet that was placed in this chat?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** oh no

 

**gryffindad:** oh how nice of you to ask this Joshua!

**gryffindad:** do you perhaps mean the bet you had made with Jeonghan?

**gryffindad:** the one in which you said

**gryffindad:** I think these were your words, though I’m not entirely sure

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** oh nO

 

**gryffindad:** “ under the sole condition that when there still isn’t a legit reason for using these chats in a month I get to delete all three of them, set you up for a date with a girl”

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** okay but does that actually qualify as a bet?

 

**gryffindad:** “AND you’ll give up as the sole parent of Chan”

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** i mean, those are more conditions that one doesn’t have to agree on!

 

**gryffindad:** to which Jeonghan replied, I think

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I did NOT agree!

 

**gryffindad:** “oh man it’s on”

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** okay maybe I did

 

**gryffindad:** could that perhaps be the bet you were referring to, Joshua?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why are you helping him???

 

**gryffindad:** hes giving me free oreos

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** damit jisoo

 

**JisoosPotter:** why yes, that was EXACTLY the bet I was referring to!

**JisoosPotter:** and would you look at the time

**JisoosPotter:** it’s a month later!

**JisoosPotter:** which only leaves us with one question

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** oH NO

 

**JisoosPotter:** Jeonghan,

**JisoosPotter:** did you actually find a legitimate reason for these individual chats to exist or are you still blank on this?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** ………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** ……………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** …………………………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** …………………………………………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** …………………………………………………………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** ……………………………………………………………………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** …………………………………………………………………………………

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

**JisoosPotter:** Jeonghan?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** imayhavefoundnolegitreasonforthesechatsbutidontwanttoadmitthatdamit

 

**JisoosPotter:** Okay so only a few things are left to do now

**JisoosPotter:** Jeonghan, hand over your phone

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** nooo i dont want to :(

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why do i have to do this :(:(

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** i didnt agree to this!

 

**gryffindad:** uhm, yeah you did

**gryffindad:** you were the one that said, and I quote

**gryffindad:** “oh man it’s on” 

 

**JisoosPotter:** now you have to pay the price :)

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** nooo

 

**JisoosPotter:** Oh and Seungcheol I also need your phone

 

**gryffindad:** wait why??

**gryffindad:** i thought you were gonna give me oreos and that was that??

 

**JisoosPotter:** I’m going to delete all of the separate chats, but to do that I need your phone

**JisoosPotter:** Don’t worry, you’ll get it back immediately

**JisoosPotter:** Unlike Jeonghan

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** rude

 

\---------

 

**the golden gryffindors**

 

**gryffindad:** Hi everyone! Joshua here :)

**gryffindad:** Jeonghan and I had a bet going on that he lost

**gryffindad:** And as a price I get to delete this chat!

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** okay thats great and all

**PEEKABOOOOII:** but why are you deleting this chat then?

 

**gryffindad:** Because it was Jeonghan’s idea to make these house chats

**gryffindad:** And I didn’t think that they would be useful

**gryffindad:** So we placed a bet if he could find a useful reason for them

**gryffindad:** If not, one of the punishments was that I would get to delete all three of these chats 

**gryffindad:** :)

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** what are the rest?

 

**gryffindad:** You will find out :)

 

**Confringo:** oh well then

**Confringo:** goodbye useless chat!

 

**Incendio:** to be honest I had forgotten seungcheol had even created this

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** same

 

**Confringo:** same

 

**gryffindad:** :)

 

**_gryffindad_ ** **deleted** **_the golden gryffindors_ **

 

\---------

 

**slythersquad**

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Hi everyone! Joshua here :)

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Jeonghan and I had a bet going on that he lost

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** And as a price I get to delete this chat!

 

**smol:** o thank god

**smol:** I was getting enough of Jun and Jeonghan sending random selfies for no reason

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Jeonghan says ‘fuck you Ji’

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Well then

 

**_~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~ _ ** **deleted** **_slythersquad_ **

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** I hereby give up being the parent of Lee Chan

 

**xuminghoe:** whAT

 

**savage:** finally!!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** fuck u chan

 

**smol:** Okay but jeonghan would

**smol:** NEVER

**smol:** willingly say this

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** oooh

**PEEKABOOOOII:** was this the other punishment you were talking about joshua?

 

**JisoosPotter:** jep

**JisoosPotter:** i have no clue whatsoever why jeonghan agreed to this all

**JisoosPotter:** but he did!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** well technically chan is still not free

 

**savage:** whAT

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** because part of the bet was that i gave up being chans parent so now its only jisoo

 

**savage:** oh but then its okay

 

**JisoosPotter:** :)

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** :(

 

\---------

 

**the ravenclaws**

 

**_JisoosPotter_ ** **added** **_savage_ **

 

**JisoosPotter: do not**

**JisoosPotter: i repeat**

**JisoosPotter: DO NOT**

**JisoosPotter: tell jeonghan anything about the fact that we still have this chat!**

 

**xuminghoe:** lol what

 

**JisoosPotter:** part of winning the bet was having to delete all three of the house chats

 

**puffthegyu:** but we actually use this chat!

 

**JisoosPotter:** exactly!

**JisoosPotter:** which is why Jeonghan can NEVER hear about it

 

**savage:** i wont say ANYTHING

**savage:** I promise :)

 

\---------

 

**Private chat gryffindad - JisoosPotter**

 

**gryffindad:** Joshua

**gryffindad:** you do know now that you have to set up Jeonghan with a girl for a date, right?

 

**JisoosPotter:** I was trying my best to forget about that part actually

 

**gryffindad:** you want me to help you with that?

 

**JisoosPotter: ......**

**JisoosPotter:** please?

 

**gryffindad:** no problem shua :)

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**MoonMoon:** Okay I’m telling you this

**MoonMoon:** I just saw the cutest couple walking through the hallway

 

**Incendio:** who?

 

**Confringo:** who?

 

**Expulso:** me and chan?

 

**MoonMoon:** No…

**MoonMoon:** Irene and Seulgi!

 

**Expulso:** Wait, Irene and Seulgi?

**Expulso:** Isn’t Seulgi dating Yeri?

 

 **MoonMoon:** No I’m telling you this, Seulgi and Irene are definitely dating

 

**smol:** ???

**smol:** where does this suddenly come from?

 

**puffthegyu:** aren’t Wendy and Irene dating though?

 

**smol:** guys what is going on

 

**Confringo:** Nah man, you have it all wrong, Wendy and Seulgi are together

 

**savage:** yeah, isn’t Irene dating Yeri?

 

**Incendio:** Yeri? But she’s dating Joy!

 

**puffthegyu:** but I thought Joy and Seulgi were a thing?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** Nah, it’s definitely Joy and Irene that are together

 

**Page394:** I thought Seulgi and Joy were dating to be honest

 

**Incendio:** And wasn’t Wendy the one that is dating Yeri?

 

**xuminghoe:** no, that is Irene

 

**Incendio:** dating Wendy or Yeri?

 

**xuminghoe:** yes!

 

**smol:** ……….

**smol:** Suddenly it’s very satisfying to know something all of you don’t know

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** tell us!

 

**Confringo:** tell us!

 

**savage:** tell us!

 

**Page394:** tell us!

 

**xuminghoe:** tell us!

 

**Incendio:** tell us!

 

**MoonMoon:** tell us!

 

**Expulso:** tell us!

 

**puffthegyu:** tell us!

 

**smol:** …

**smol:** No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not really proud of this chapter? i dont know why? but im gonna publish it anyway :)
> 
> So I first wanted this to be a fun inbetween chapter that wouldn't have been focussed on ships but you can see how well that worked out xD  
> Thank you all for the support you are giving this fic! And thank you all so much for waiting for the next chapter :) I'm trying my best for the next chapter to be released somewhat sooner, but with how much is going on in my life I can't promise anything, I'm truly sorry :/
> 
> oh and the chanhoon fic? im working on it, but the idea turned out to be muuuuccchh longer than i had first thought, so I'm trying my best to get that finished and published first before posting a new chapter here, but if I notice that it's taking too long than I'll post here again :)
> 
> Yeah I'm such a reveluv trash that I couldn't not do this. And who do you think of Red Velvet is dating who in this fic? Place a bet, and you'll find out the truth in the next chapter!


	14. Short update!

Hi guys! i’m sorry to dissapoint you all that this is not a new chapter, but a lot has happened these past few months! I graduated, have a pretty busy job and got accepted into uni! After high school was over I’ve mostly been relaxing to prepare for next year, as there was still a lot of stress and anxiety left from high school, sadly. I’m not still in Italy but I’ll be back around next week saturday, and I promise to post a new chapter then! If I still haven’t posted then, come bug me on twitter that i really should (@sweetyeojinnie) 

I love you all so incredibly much and i am so sorry that i havent been posting recently :(( i hope i can write enough in the upcoming weeks to make up for it!

\- Vera


	15. the girlies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **noboysforjoy:** we don’t really try to hide it though
> 
>  **smol:** exactly, which is why they’re stupid  
>  **smol:** but

**Private chat smol - noboysforjoy**

 

**smol:** Joy?

**smol:** Could you perhaps help me with something?

 

**noboysforjoy:** ow hey Ji!

**noboysforjoy:** whats it for?

 

**smol:** so some of my friends are having trouble understanding who exactly you’re dating again

 

**noboysforjoy:** oh?

**noboysforjoy:** we don’t really try to hide it though

 

**smol:** exactly, which is why they’re stupid

**smol:** but 

 

**noboysforjoy:** did you tell them the truth?

 

**smol:** uhh 

**smol:** obviously not

**smol:** i like to see them suffer some more

 

**noboysforjoy:** ooh i like that

 

**smol:** but back to what i wanted to ask

 

**noboysforjoy:** aah yes sorry

**noboysforjoy:** do continue

 

**smol:** is there perhaps a possibility to show them all who exactly you’re dating some time later this week?

 

**noboysforjoy:** i mean what am i getting out of it?

 

**smol:** a public make out session with your girlfriend, the shared knowledge that all of my friends are idiots for not realising this sooner and perhaps some free butter beer for your next date?

 

**noboysforjoy:** you had me at public make out session

 

**smol:** great

 

\---------

 

**the girlies**

 

**noboysforjoy:** okay girlies

**noboysforjoy:** i just got the great news from jihoon that apparently

**noboysforjoy:** despite us being legit the worst at hiding our relationship and never even having tried to do so in the first place

**noboysforjoy:** there are still people out there that are confused about who from us is dating who

 

**imyerigay:** lmfao 

**imyerigay:** but who tho

 

**noboysforjoy:** jihoon’s friends, apparently

 

**irenebothways:** and what do you want us to do with this information?

 

**wendyouwant2date:** help her, obviously

 

**seulideintomydms:** okay but how

 

**imyerigay:** well the best plan would obviously be to show them publicly that we’re all a thing

**imyerigay:** in a way that leaves little to no room to other interpretation

**imyerigay:** like

**imyerigay:** by making out in public?

**imyerigay:** i mean

**imyerigay:** im here for that

 

**irenebothways:** okay but when

 

**noboysforjoy:** obviously

 

**wendyouwant2date:** there is truly only one moment that this will work out

 

**seulideintomydms:** after the quidditch game?

 

**noboysforjoy:** obviously

 

**irenebothways:** why do i have the feeling you all were planning on doing this anyways?

 

**imyerigay:** so what if we were?

 

**noboysforjoy:** but in my defence

**noboysforjoy:** jihoon actually approached me 

**noboysforjoy:** there are actual people confused about this

 

**irenebothways:** you’re just using this as an excuse to make out?

 

**noboysforjoy:** not an excuse

 

**imyerigay:** another opportunity

 

**irenebothways:** sure

**irenebothways:** im in

 

**imyerigay:** yay!

 

**noboysforjoy:** yay!

 

**wendyouwant2date:** yay!

 

**seulideintomydms:** yay!

 

\---------

 

**the thirteen idiots**

 

**MoonMoon:** okay so

**MoonMoon:** looking back on it

**MoonMoon:** it was actually pretty fucking obvious

 

**Incendio:** How did we not see it before??

 

**savage:** good question, good question

**savage:** thanks for asking it seungkwan!

**savage:** probably because we’re all too blind to see the truth

 

**smol:** That is of course one way to put it.

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** well im still confusion

 

**Page394:** its obvious, obviously

**Page394:** Yeri, Joy, Wendy, Seulgi and Irene are all dating each other

**Page394:** so in a way, we were all right when we were talking about who was dating who before the game

 

**MoonMoon:** obviously

 

**Expulso:** if the make out session was anything to go by, of course

 

**Incendio:** i heard they all had to gather in the headmasters office afterwards tho

 

**JisoosPotter:** they did it for the gays

 

**puffthegyu:** okay but ji

**puffthegyu:** i have one question for you

**puffthegyu:** how did you know they were all together?

 

**PEEKABOOOOII:** ...yeah?

 

**smol:** lmao

**smol:** I have eyes, obviously

 

**gryffindad:** never thought i’d see the day jihoon would send ‘lmao’

 

**smol:** lmao

 

\---------

 

**Private chat gryffindad - gryffinmom**

 

**gryffindad:** so

**gryffindad:** nayoung

**gryffindad:** i’ve got a question for you

 

**gryffinmom:** figured

**gryffinmom:** what is it that you need, seungcheol?

 

**gryffindad:** are you perhaps free for the upcoming hogsmeade trip?

 

**gryffinmom:** i guess, why?

 

**gryffindad:** are you perhaps interested in a date to hogsmeade with jeonghan?

 

**gryffinmom:** yoon jeonghan from slytherin?

**gryffinmom:** seungcheol

**gryffinmom:** i don’t know how to break it to you

**gryffinmom:** but i’m gay

 

**gryffindad:** so is jeonghan

**gryffindad:** listen, it’s nothing important

**gryffindad:** it’s just that jeonghan lost a bet with joshua and now as a punishment, he has to go on a date with a girl

**gryffindad:** and i promised joshua to help him with that

 

**gryffinmom:** jeonghan and joshua?

**gryffinmom:** aren’t those two head over heels for each other?

 

**gryffindad:** yes

 

**gryffinmom:** then why did they ever agree to these conditions?

 

**gryffindad:** easy

**gryffindad:** they’re both idiots

 

**gryffinmom:** i’ll agree

**gryffinmom:** on one condition

 

**gryffindad:** and that is?

 

**gryffinmom:** once this is over you help me get a date with jieqiong

 

**gryffindad:** jieqiong?

 

**gryffinmom:** jieqiong, zhou, zhou jieqiong, kyulkyung, pinky

**gryffinmom:** the chinese exchange student that somi and seungkwan already think i’m dating

 

**gryffindad:** oooh her

**gryffindad:** sure!

**gryffindad:** perhaps then the rumours about us together can finally stop!

 

**gryffinmom:** why did those even start in the first place

 

**gryffindad:** because people are idiots, obviously

 

**gryffinmom:** obviously

 

**gryffindad:** anyway, i’ll let joshua know about your agreement so he can tell jeonghan

**gryffindad:** you want me to give you his number so you can contact him then?

 

**gryffinmom:** sure!

 

**gryffindad:** okay great :)

**gryffindad:** see you later nayoung :)

 

**gryffinmom:** ~See U Later by BLACKPINK~

**gryffinmom:** but yes, i’ll see you later!

 

\---------

 

**Private chat gryffindad - JisoosPotter**

 

**gryffindad:** *screenshot*

**gryffindad:** nayoung just agreed to go on a date with jeonghan to hogsmeade as a punishment for your bet

 

**JisoosPotter:** Nayoung?

**JisoosPotter:** Aren’t you two dating?

 

**gryffindad:** jisoo

**gryffindad:** joshua

**gryffindad:** josh

**gryffindad:** shua

**gryffindad:** both nayoung and i are gay

 

**JisoosPotter:** oh

 

**gryffindad:** you didn’t know??

 

**JisoosPotter:** No!!??!!

**JisoosPotter:** But wait

**JisoosPotter:** If the both of you are gay

**JisoosPotter:** And you’re not dating each other

**JisoosPotter:** Why aren’t either of you trying to stop the dating rumours between you two?

 

**gryffindad:** we tried

**gryffindad:** at first

**gryffindad:** but people were only more convinced that we were dating once we started denying it

**gryffindad:** not acknowledging it works for the best, actually

 

**JisoosPotter:** Aaah

**JisoosPotter:** Well

**JisoosPotter:** I’m going to let Jeonghan know who his date will be

**JisoosPotter:** Please pray that my mind won’t take it too seriously and start crying halfway through

 

**gryffindad:** you got this, shua

 

**JisoosPotter:** Thank you

 

\---------

 

**Private chat JisoosPotter - ~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~**

 

**JisoosPotter:** So

**JisoosPotter:** Jeonghan

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** Joshua

 

**JisoosPotter:** Remember the last punishment from the bet?

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** sadly yes, yes i do

 

**JisoosPotter:** Then I have some great news for you!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** oh boy

 

**JisoosPotter:** For the upcoming hogsmeade trip, you’ll spend the day together with Nayoung!

**JisoosPotter:** Enjoy your last punishment!

 

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** wowowowow hold on

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** nayoung??

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** as in im nayoung, girlfriend of seungcheol??

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** why did any of them agree to this!?

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** joshua???

**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** shua????

  
  
  
  
  


**~~~ <<\~~<<\~~(*)<~: ** goddamit

 

\---------

 

**Private chat xuminghoe - smol**

 

**xuminghoe:** hey ji

**xuminghoe:** quick question

**xuminghoe:** its not weird for multiple people to date each other?

 

**smol:** well you’ve seen the girls today

**smol:** they’re very happy

**smol:** it might not be the most normal thing in the world but it’s definitely not weird

**smol:** or wrong, if you wanted to know that too

**smol:** why?

 

**xuminghoe:** nothing

**xuminghoe:** i was just

**xuminghoe:** wondering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, i felt very guilty that it took so long to post this, hence why I’m posting so quickly after the update. That, and it has been storming here so most of this was written while i was trying to distract myself from the storm.
> 
> The formatting is weird and not like normally but I don’t have my laptop with me to fix it and editing it on my phone literally does not wanna work so i’m gonna edit this as soon as I get home.
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter! See you all soon again :)
> 
> Catch me on twitter - sweetyeojinnie

**Author's Note:**

> Wooh that was the first chapter! I hope that you liked it, and I will try to come back as soon as possible with the next one!
> 
> If you have cool ideas about new usernames to use or relationships that you'd love to see make sure to add them to the comments! I'll try to use as much ideas as possible (and it's totally not because I’m too dumb to think of some myself or anything)


End file.
